Gardening, Spring, & Revelations | Personal Update

Shalom Shebrews 🙂

I’ve been seeing bugs buzzing, flowers blossoming, and green returning all around, and I know it’s spring.

Happy New Year!

This year has already been so transformational for me. I am just feeling like the time is NOW, Yahsharal. You can say this is more of a personal update on what’s been going on in my life. I kind of want to shift this blog, and make more personal content because I honestly love connecting with you beautiful homemaking Shebrews and believers with deeper intimacy. In Yah’s will, I pray I can do this tastefully, tactfully, and timely :).

So what’s been going on with me? As you have probably been able to tell, I’ve dialed back on updates not just here on the blog but on Instagram as well. I haven’t really been “unplugging” per se, but more so focusing on what Yah wants from me.

In January, I quit my part-time job as an executive assistant. I felt Yah calling me to do so before February began. I didn’t know why, and for the entire month of February I kind of had a miniature identity crisis. What’s my purpose, who am I without a job, why did He want me to walk away? That kind of thing.

February showed me who I am in uncertain times. Yah revealed to me that I used fiction and writing as my haven, when I should’ve been using Him as my strong tower. I found myself stressed, binge eating, and watching worldly shows day and night, desperately trying to escape from what felt like a hurricane of uncertainty.

It wasn’t until beginning to write on Medium towards the end of February/beginning of March (which you can read my writings here) that Yah spoke to me:

Ever since I had been home full-time, my husband was performing better; we’d been having better intimacy; and my anxiety was completely melting away.

So, I thought, “Hmm… Could it actually be a good thing that I’m no longer in the workforce? Could it actually be a blessing? Is it time for me to quit searching?”

I realized, I had once again gone on this quest to find out what does Yah want me to accomplish. And I’ve finally come to terms with it: I’m a homemaker. A Housewife! It says it right in His Word, too, over and over. Women are created to help men (Genesis 2:18), most specifically in the home (Titus 2:3-5). And since I’ve stopped running from this calling to be a keeper at home and a helpmeet, life has been much simpler.

As I slowly began to accept this vocation of sorts, Yah just kept speaking to me. I started seeing divine orchestration in my life. I’ve been more present for my husband, our life is more organized, we actually spend more dedicated time in praise and worship together, and our rest has become immaculate.

A really cool blessing has been our new little garden! It’s my first year playing in the dirt since coming into the truth, and it’s so much more of a beautiful journey than I imagined. So far, I’ve got some green beans, purple green beans, cherry tomato, onion, red bell pepper, rosemary, arugula and cucumber growing! Seeing the little sprouts each day and speaking life into them has watered my femininity, too. I feel my maternal energy just blossoming. I’m so grateful.

And since I’m being honest here, I’ll add that Yah really revealed a deep-rooted rebellion in my heart towards my husband that was so subtle, I hadn’t even noticed how detrimental it had become. Namely, in my refusal to rise up early. We’ve been married since April 12th, 2020, and for the last year I had really made as many excuses as possible regarding my sleeping schedule, keeping him up late despite his having work during the mornings, and my inability to work during the day.

Might I say, since truly allowing Abba to guide me in rising up around 4:45am, day-to-day life feels more cohesive, smooth, and routine. I get more done, I have time for me, and I am able to help my husband get on a good foot for work (which is my most important task during the week). This also means I’m going to bed earlier, getting more sleep, and better quality sleep (admittedly on nights when I don’t stay up late window-shopping).

I’ve been feeling like a Proverbs 31 woman, too. Rising up while it’s still night (Proverbs 31:15) is not something I EVER imagined myself doing, and honestly something I rolled my eyes at. But since implementing this in my life, not only am I seeing the benefits and fruitfulness, I’m beginning to thoroughly enjoy having 2-3 hours of quietude in the morning before the world begins to stir— time to read, pray, praise and worship, workout, write, and just truly set my tone for my day without being interrupted.

She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household and assigns tasks to her maids.

Proverbs 31:15

Another huge blessing in my life has been Z Library— a free online e-book library with over 6 million books! I’ve found sooooo many invaluable resources! Books that I had once had on my wishlist, now at my fingertips for free! Books on homemaking, cookbooks, marriage books, gardening books, personal development books, devotional books, and beauty/skin-care books! Just about anything I need at a given moment, I can find it there.

One book in particular that has been a major blessing for me is “Graced and Gifted: Biblical Wisdom for the Homemaker’s Heart”. It’s well written and so fruitful for believing women. However, it is Catholic-centric, so if that’s not your thing I wouldn’t encourage it. I’m not Catholic either, but I know how to take what I need from something and leave the rest while not getting my feathers ruffled in the process. Because of this, I’ve been able to truly draw deeper into the role of a Biblical woman and how I can be her— and not just do what she can do.

I realized I’ve been missing that aspect of my role. I shouldn’t just perform a series of tasks; I should be that woman. I don’t just strive to say “I can do what she can do”. No, it isn’t enough. She is me, I am her, we are one. We have the same Father. I think this kind of ties into women not wanting to completely be a homemaker, still holding on to some other vocation that will bring us purpose.

Are we ever really satisfied with just saying “I’m a homemaker”. Must there always be, “…And I do YouTube…I study martial arts…I lead the neighborhood carpool”?

Hobbies are great, and recommended for every housewife. However, I’ve had to challenge myself to not attach my validity to them or any of my duties for that matter. Now life has become day to day; I’m learning not to be so defensive to myself, my husband and others; and Yah is truly being glorified in my heart.

A close friend, a fellow Shebrew, recently challenged me to get back to what I love, or rather, figure it out. But I know what I love: this blog. Sadly it had become a business venture instead of something I found joy in, hence why I faded away for a bit.

This friend told me that we often have the inclination to make our lives or hobbies produce some grand result, and that this shouldn’t be the case. Sometimes the grand result is our enjoyment, growth, and refuge.

What’s your hobby or love? What do you enjoy, that you’re not required to do, that doesn’t earn you money, and that you hold dear to your heart? I’d love to hear it: shoot me an email HebrewHousewife@gmail.com

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers ???? you can view my prayer requests here and also submit your own if you’re in need!