Homemaking is an ancient practice as old as Adam and Eve– the Garden of Eden was given to them to care for, and ultimately the entire earth. This ancient practice is still alive and well today, but how has it survived such drastic changes and stood the test of time?
Adaptation.
We adapt. It’s how we survive century after century (thanks to the mercy of YAHUAH, of course). Modern problems call for modern solutions. (Some) change is good, and in order for homemakers to be successful in today’s world, there are just some changes we can’t avoid.
Choose Routines Over Schedules
Schedules are rigid, inflexible, and can cause feelings of inadequacy and disorder when not adhered to with absolutely perfection. The I have to get this done at exactly this time or else mindset never really helps in the long run, and frankly, it isn’t sustainable unless you’re a drill sergeant.
But you’re not a drill sergeant – you’re a beacon of peace, comfort and rest in your house. You’re what makes your house a home. Choose routines and rhythms over rigid schedules. Choose to have a morning routine instead of a pre-breakfast itinerary. Choose to designate a day of the week for planning, instead of specifically writing on your planner, “I will plan every Sunday from 8am to 10am.” Choose to set yourself up for the dynamic, unpredictability of life by simply deciding what needs to be done, doing it, and not being thrown off by feelings of “running behind”.
You’re experiencing life, not running behind. This is Yah’s timing.
Get DressedāEvery Day
Okay, this isn’t so “modern” of an idea or rule (neither are most things on this list), but it applies today,
Don’t stay in your PJs, robe, or nightgown all day, no matter how tempting it is. Even if you’re not going anywhere. Even if your husband won’t take a second glance at you. Even if you don’t want to “waste clean clothes” (they were literally made to be worn and washed to be worn again!).
Getting dressed everyday is good for a few reasons:
- When you look good, you feel good
- You’ll be prepared for any surprise visitors – even the mailman or a neighbor
- You’ll already be dressed in case you need to run a last minute errand
- You won’t look like you’ve been doing nothing all day
- You deserve to be well taken care of
even thoughespecially since you’re a housewife/homemaker
A simple dress, shoes, and nice headwrap can go a long way, both in your mood and how your family perceives you!
Wear Your Apron
The Official Unofficial Housewife Uniform!
Find an apron you love, and wear it as you prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner; as you wash dishes; as you do laundry; as you handle administrative tasks; as you vaccum. The only place the apron shouldn’t be going is the bathroom!
One tip I learned is taking off my apron at the end of a long day is a reward. Like taking of a nametag, or kicking off those work-boots. Time to relax! I feel accomplished each time I hang mine up after I’ve finished my tasks. It signifies you’ve “clocked out” in a way, though a homemaker’s job is never done!
Donāt Be Afraid to Cook
Seriously. Your family has got to eat… you do, too. Don’t dread the kitchen or the stove. Whatever you need to do to make cooking enjoyable instead of a loathed task, do that. Music, podcasts, new fun recipes, a little friendly competition – whatever it takes.
Trust me when I say your family can tell when a meal is made with love and when it isn’t. They don’t need you to be a female Gordon Ramsey, or to cook their favorite meals with perfection every time.
They need you to take your time, focus, fellowship with Yah while you prepare the meal, and make a thoughtful presentation (ie serving on that beautiful dinnerware instead of plastic/paper plates every night!!!).
Simplify & Automate
I used to be afraid of my dishwasher. It was like a taboo growing up. Didn’t matter if we owned one, since it couldn’t guarantee clean dishes every single time – better to not chance it, right?
Wrong.
This is why we’ve acquired technology – to use it! We’ll find that although it’s not perfect, it does help!
I had once thought using the dishwasher (or any automated housekeeping tools) was a sure sign that I was only a partial, or phony homemaker. Now, I use that bad boy every day, save myself almost 45min every night after dinner, preserve my energy, and save a few bucks on the water bill, too.
Use your vaccum instead of the broom, buy a more automatic mop that doesn’t require squeezing with your hands, etc. Don’t be ashamed to make homemaking easy on you. The goal is not to be so worn down that you hate waking up every day. The goal is to take care of the home so that you and your family can rejoice and rest without domestic worries.
Have Grace Towards Your Unfinished To-Do Lists
Life is not a giant to-do list, contrary to your day-to-day life. Life is not over, falling behind, or out of order just because you look at your lists or planner and see that one, a few or all things hadn’t been accomplished.
One of the sweetest, most subtle blessings of homemaking, is the opportunity to experience the grace of The Most High as our imperfection and need of a Savior shines forth daily. He has called us to be keepers at home, those who maintain it. But He doesn’t say we do it without Him.
Following Him as a homemaker doesn’t just mean being so militant and diligent and steadfast like the Proverbs 31 woman… Following Him as a homemaker also means submitting to Him all the areas we fall short, all the things we can’t complete, and all the tasks we simply don’t have time for, and trusting that He is Able!
Ask For Help
Hey, Superwoman – yes, you! Put down the cape and come sit for a moment. You only have two arms, remember?
You may think it’s your job and your job only to do all the domestic work, organizing, and prepping. But the truth is, you don’t live in the house alone, you’re NOT superwoman, and expecting perfection for yourself is extremely dangerous. Sometimes you need help, and it’s okay to ask for it.
It won’t make you a bad homemaker. Asking for help makes you human.
When I’m on my flower (or period) I simply do not have the same capacity. I don’t cook as much, clean as diligently, or truthfully even move that much. But I know and trust that Yah will have mercy on me, and this mercy will come in the form of my husband’s patience and understanding.
We’re in need of a savior, not just for our eternal soul, but also for our temporary bodies who can only carry so much before experiencing burnout. Any task that you don’t have time or energy for, it’s better to ask for help in it that to let it go undone, or to do a half-assed job because you’re so worn out!
Find A Hobby
What do you like to do? Watch sunsets? Paint? Play video games? Do manicures? Workout? I like to blog. I find time to blog. I get a little relief from blogging. Blogging helps me recharge sometimes.
You weren’t created just to cook, clean and lead the neighborhood carpool. Your entire personality isn’t your family. You have skills, talents and passions outside of service to your loved ones, and (Biblically) feeding this passion can alleviate that daily, weekly, or monthly pressure build up.
Do you like flowers? Make free floral mood board on in the internet. Do you like to read? Try Z-Library – it’s a free ebook library with over 6 million books! Do you enjoy window shopping like me? Download apps to all your favorite retailers, and make some lists, outfit ideas and gift guides that no one else will ever see.
Hobbies don’t always have to produce results, either. Sometimes, they’re just there for enjoyment and nothing more. Do something for the sake of enjoyment, not for result. Femininity is about processes, masculinity is about result. Find a process and be as graceful as you can be with it.
Become a Good Hostess
Do you offer your guests drinks before you join them on the sofa? If they stay later than expected or make it evident that they don’t have plans for the evening, do you invite them for dinner or make an excuse for them to leave? Do you prepare fresh linens for your in-laws who’re staying for the weekend? Or go out of your way at all for anyone who steps inside your home?
You don’t have to suddenly become a maid. In fact, I advise against this. In the recount of Yahusha visiting Mary and Martha, Mary sat at Yahusha’s feet while Martha ran to and fro cooking, cleaning, preparing, laboring. Martha demanded that Yahusha instruct Mary to stop being so lazy, but Yahusha told her, “(Mary) has chosen the good thing, and it shall not be taken from her.”
Being a good hostess isn’t always about service. Sometimes, it’s about comfort, listening, gentleness, and soft wisdom. Believe it or not, but people aren’t always interested in your new dessert recipe, or excited to use those new chenille towels you bought specially for guests only. Sometimes, people just want to be near you – a soft, feminine, godly lady – get your advice, feel your nurturing, be in your presence and make you laugh or smile.
…But I’m sure they would appreciate refreshments in the process! It’s all about balance.
Donāt Be A Housekeeper, Be A Homemaker
Don’t be so caught up in tasks that you can’t sit down for snack time with your children, or take off your apron when your husband walks through the door. It’s okay if dinner is late. It’s okay if only half the laundry is folded right now. Making a home isn’t about all those tasks. A home can appear perfect, clean and orderly, but with an exhausted slave running it whose bitter and beat up… well that’s not a home anyone would want to be in!
Housekeepers perform tasks, but homemakers pour their hearts, personal touch, and grace into all that Yah has entrusted to them.
āAnd whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to YAHUAH, and not unto men;ā
Colossians 3:23
Yahusha isn’t looking for a mindless slave – He’s looking for a faithful companion. Your home isn’t just your workplace – it’s also your haven, beacon of renewal, fortress, and place of worship. It needs merrymakers more than it needs maids.
Enjoy Today, Not Tomorrow
What little things spark joy for you?
A cup of hot tea? Hearing the birds sing? Your favorite snack?
Everyday is the perfect day to rejoice. Nothing huge, major or significant needs to occur, either. Being blessed to see another fruitful day in His will is significant enough. Don’t wait until life is perfect to have joy. Happiness is dependent upon the happenings of life. But joy just is, because of the mercy, grace, favor and love of The Most High.
Take pleasure in the little things. Your children’s laughter. Your husband’s jokes. That random call from your bored mother-in-law. Things are here today and gone tomorrow, and you’d hate to wake up tomorrow and realize you took for granted the blessings of yesterday. Just slow down.
āThis is the day which YAHUAH hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.ā
Psalms 118:24
Have Boundaries
Be honest with yourself: if you hadn’t sat down and watched TV for two hours, dinner wouldn’t be late!
If you’ve got priorities, don’t answer your girlfriend’s call! If your husband needs you for an ongoing project, say no to outside obligations for the moment. If you have time for a tiny task that needs attention, don’t wait until later.
Boundaries are good, boundaries are necessary, and boundaries are perfectly okay. Your best friend isn’t going to hate you just because you don’t have time to chat. That TV show is still going to exist. And anything else you may be missing out on for the sake of your righteous duties – I guarantee Yah can have something greater in store for you along the line!
Keeping your house in order is your top priority, and you simply cannot accomplish this without boundaries – boundaries for yourself and boundaries for others! This is to protect yourself and protect them as well.
Pray Without Ceasing
This is another one of those long-standing customs that has made it to the modern world. Prayer will never ever go out of style!
āPray without ceasing.ā
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Yes, this is a rule, a principle, a commandment, and a tool that will keep you sane, grounded, covered and walking in Holy Wisdom. This will bring you peace. This will take your mind out of scarcity, lack and anxiety, and bring you back to focusing on Yah’s glory DAILY!
When it doubt, pray it out. Sometimes, this is the missing ingredient. Whenever I talk to someone who has a worry about money, health, or familial issues, my first response is, “Wait, have you prayed about this yet? No? Okay, stop. Pray first.”
Prayer changes things. For us to walk with Yah and cultivate our homes according to His will, we must know His will. To know His will, we must seek it. To seek it, we must hear from Him directly – which we’ll find happens when we open His Word.
Start praying and don’t stop
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto HaYah. And the peace of HaYah, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through HaMashayach Yahusha.
Philippians 4:6-7
What modern rule for homemaking can’t you live without?
Beautifully put and a much needed reminder. I have 3 little ones of my own and the chores can become burdensome. The only thing getting me by is YAH and that verse saying to do all as if we’re serving TMH ????. Thank you sister ????
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to Yahuah, and not unto men; Knowing that of Yah ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve Yahuah the Mashiach). QOLASIYM (COLOSSIANS) 3:23-24
HalleluYah sometimes thatās all we need is His Word to get by. Iāll admit that very verse is often the only thing getting me up, doing chores, and not doing them haphazardly! Thank you for sharing ā„ļø