Self-care has become quite a buzz in the last few years. Particularly with the onset of the ‘pandemic’ has self-care and the idea of personal boundaries come to the forefront of our lives. People were stuck indoors, unsure of what the world would become, and reckoning with just how unprepared they were for a great reset.

However, self-care is more than a trend or a temporal practice, and hygiene is certainly not new to us descendants of Shem. The oldest and earliest references to soap and hygiene are found in Mesopotamian medicine texts circa 2800 b.c.— Ur, Mesopotamia being Abraham’s homeland. And as we know, while we have been subject to various plagues, none that have severely destroyed us have EVER come from being an unclean, unhygienic people. That’s just not who we are.

So, I’ll be sharing my self-care routine in the wider scope of wellbeing, not just feeling good. Such an ancient practice as that of caring for one’s flesh deserves to be framed with more than makeup, bathing, and meditation. And since we are aspiring Biblical women, I hope my personal feminine routine encourages you to be holy in all things.

“You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.”

Leviticus 19:18

Why Self Care is Important

Self care is important because we are commanded to love YAHUAH, and then to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40).

Loving our neighbor is impossible if we do not love ourselves. Loving ourselves is impossible if we do not love YAHUAH with all our heart. And loving YAHUAH is impossible if we do not abide in HIS standard for love:

“Love is patient, love is kind…” from 1 Corinthians 13.

It’s important for us to establish this first because if we aren’t careful, we’ll be doing a whole lot of maintenance and very little actual care for our persons.

This is the love we should have with Yah, and then with ourselves, and then to others. Our roles as Biblical women certainly exhorts us to be kind and willing servants (something Jesus embraced and spread), and this means we must be mindful to have our cups filled first.

I like to think of self-care as my own personal luxury, my own opulent bathhouse in what may sometimes feel like a desert.

(just look at this beautiful bath! Wouldn’t you like to take a dip in that?)

Generally a time and place of renewal, rejuvenation, and recalibration. A place free of worry, wherein I can relax, shed world, and be fully submerged in His Will for my life.

Areas of Focus

Here are the areas I like to focus on in my self care routine

  • Watering my soul
  • Cleansing my flesh
  • Beautifying my body
  • Hobbies
  • Emotional Audits

Watering My Soul

This comes straight from having quiet-time in The Word.

If you’ve got many littles or you do homeschooling, then I suggest also reading Finding Quiet-Time in a Busy Home.

Watering my soul is non-negotiable because only The Bible has the power to give me every single thing I need in order to have a good and purposed day:

  • entertainment (funny, interesting and odd things happen in Scripture)
  • Hope
  • Wisdom
  • Instruction
  • Reminders of God’s Character
  • Comfort
  • Answers to Questions I’ve Had
  • Promises for Provision

As previously mentioned, we truly cannot love YAHUAH if we are not familiar with HIS standard of love. So it is good to choose one characteristic of love from 1 Corinthians 13 to focus on each day, week or month, and keep cycling through each of them.

One can incorporate Bible Journaling, Bible flash cards, Bible trivia. Reading the Bible doesn’t have to feel laborious or dreaded. Sometimes we just need to beautify our experience with Scripture, so that we are more attracted to doing it. That’s just how we are as women, and there’s no need to be ashamed of this.

I like to get some pretty pens, a well made journal, play some birdsong, open the curtains, brew some tea, and most importantly, I love to sit in a very cozy, warmly lit corner with a fuzzy blanket.

If getting into the Word is something you struggle with, this can be solved with prayer. There could be spirits trying to keep you from hearing God through His Word. Or, you could just be ashamed of something you’ve recently done or said and are afraid of conviction.

I also find that simply worshipping His Name draws me in when I feel distant from Him, so I suggest that, too.

Nevertheless, YAHUAH is the Most Merciful, the Most Beneficent. He is waiting to hear from you, and when you open His Word, you will hear from Him!

Cleansing My Flesh

After I’ve gotten my Word in for the day, I like to take care of my flesh.

This is kinda like all the other self-care out there, in a physical sense.

First I shower:

  • Typically I use some low-chemical, or all natural soap
  • with a sponge or loofa which I change out 1-2x a month (I don’t use wash rags because I love having more exfoliation from the sponges)
  • And wash everything TWICE! Just in case you missed a spot

Then, I do my skin-care

  • While in the shower, I like to wash my face (always wash your hands before touching your face)
  • I apply a very gentle cleanser onto my spinning brush (battery operated, water resistant and available at Target for only $10). In small circular motions, I work my way up from the jaw to the cheeks to the forehead.
  • I rinse with warm, not hot, water
  • Once out of the shower, I continue my skin care with a little bit of cleanser. This depends on your skin type, but I like to fluctuate between using stronger stuff and milder stuff, since my skin is combination. I use a gentle no-rinse cleanser on my mild days, and on stronger days, I use a kombucha-based toner (but you can use a witch hazel x water solution).
  • Then it’s time for some facial nutrients. Something with more extracts and water than oil. This means moisturizing cream! I really like Symbiome but they are on the more expensive end. So when I can’t get to my fave, I like to use Cetaphil or CeraVe to moisturize, revitalize, and replenish!

  • After nutrients, I add essence. This ranges from month to month and I like to try new things each time. But as a standard, I get something that is fruit-first (watermelon, cucumber, or melon), and I avoid too much vitamin C since it’s acidic and tends to be harsh on my skin. I’m currently using Watermelon Facial Mist from Trader Joe’s (fancy, right?) It was inexpensive. And since it contains a little bit of oil, I tend to skip adding oil in the next step or only applying a little.

  • I recommend anything with watermelon or cucumber if you’re not allergic to either as they are very gentle, full of H3o2, and they combat free radicals and premature aging.
  • To seal in the good properties and moisture, I add a teeny bit of oil. Most often it’s olive oil. If not olive oil, then Jojoba because it isn’t heavy or sticky.
  • Finally, to top everything off, I add sunscreen. YES, sunscreen. Sunscreen helps us with hyperpigmentation and dark spots; fights wrinkling; and help keeps the skin tight and firm. I hear people often say “Black people get skin cancer, too.” This is true, however, our skin cancer mostly comes from the products we use, not from the sun (i.e. we are the least likely to get melanoma skin cancer). Moreover, we are more likely to recover from skin cancer. Notwithstanding, sunscreen is a delectable delight and you should be wearing it. It’s really a Hebrew woman’s skin care secret weapon!!!
  • There are many sunscreen brands out there made specifcally for brown skin so you’re not out here looking pasty and ashy! Find one that is inexpensive, and apply it to your face every single day!
  • Moving on to the rest of my body skincare, I keep it simple. Since I’ve already exfoliated in the shower, I move on to seal in moisture with Aquaphor! Aquaphor is the BOMB. I swear by Aquaphor for restoring broken and dry skin in a very short amount of time.
  • With body moisture, I like to layer, as such:
    • Aquaphor
    • Olive Oil or coconut oil
    • Lotion
  • I add lotion last because a) I use lotion mainly for the scent (love that pomegranate), b) I want the scent of the lotion to be unmasked so it must be applied last, and c) the oil applied beforehand helps to maintain the aroma particles on my skin for longer lasting smell-good!

Beautifying My Body

Here comes the fun part.

I try not to linger on this step, and only choose one of these tasks per week or every other day, instead of trying to do it all in one day.

I must also add that this section is completely up to you, your husband and your convictions. I’m not at all saying these steps are necessary. I’m only sharing what I like to do, and what I know brings pleasure to my husband. As wives, we should submit to our husbands, and try to give them preference whenever possible (in holiness of course).

I wax my armpits, my little beard (xD listen, it’s hormonal. I get a few chin hairs now and then and that’s okay), and my legs. Yes, I do the waxing at home. It’s very, very easy and only takes an hour max to do every place. I use a natural and gentle wax that you can warm up in the container. It’s from my little local ethnic grocery store LOL so not available online. However, you can easily learn how to make your own natural sugar wax, purchase natural sugar wax online, or acquire a small at home wax kit for less than $30.

I don’t recommend shaving simply because it’s way more complex than you’ve been led to believe, therefore most people get it wrong. Shaving also leaves little cuts in the skin which can be very unhygienic; and can cause uncomfy and unsightly bumps and scars!

Waxing is also very affordable too. The only continual maintenance with waxing is keeping those wax strips stocked, which can tend to get used up fairly quickly.

I also like to do my own nails. I don’t do much to my fingers aside from keeping them neatly trimmed or filed. But I like to go ALL out for my feet.

Here’s what’s in my nail care baggie:

  • Nippers
  • Clippers
  • Cotton balls
  • Acetone (polish remover)
  • Cuticle oil
  • Cuticle pusher
  • Cuticle dissolver
  • Base coat
  • Top coat
  • White Polish
  • Soft baby pink polish

You’re looking at no more than 25$ to get all of this at the Dollar Tree or any other budget store.

Here’s a brief summary of my foot care routine:

  • soak in hot, soapy water with either oils or epsom salt
  • Cuticle treatment: add cuticle dissolver for 30 seconds, push cuticles back, rinse off dissolver, snip away dead skin with nippers (but not too much because cuticles protect our fingers and keep our nail beds healthy)
  • remove existing polish
  • Trim nails with clippers (i like to keep my big toenail medium length and very square)
  • file to sharpen or round edges to your liking; and file down the surface of the nail to smoothen it
  • Buff the nail with a buffer (this is optional but make a huge difference)
  • soak again, then rinse
  • wipe clean
  • moisturize feet
  • Apply base coat
  • Apply polish (2 layers)
  • Apply top coat (2 layers)

I either go for a french tip with the white polish, or a plain pedi with the pink polish, to keep it cute and classy.

Some days I will tend to my brows also, with either tweezers or a wax.

And some days, I like to walk around our lake or do a gentle home workout just to tone up a bit. I highly recommend the Blogilates app: it’s free, has very gentle and simple home workouts that drive results, and yes, it’s pilates based so you’re going to burn fat and build a little muscle! They do have a paid option, but I’ve been using the app for almost two years and have never needed to upgrade to get a good workout! Overall, a feminine woman should get at least an hour of movement each day (and as a housewife you’re probably already on your feet a lot), and workout at least twice a week.

Reminder: sometimes, your weight problems are hormonal, like mine; so losing weight may come easier when you focus more on a cleaner diet instead of working out so much!

It’s worth noting that working out and getting movement can come from doing activities you enjoy, not just from hitting the gym! So, maybe you will learn to enjoy actual sports, or start chasing your littles around in the backyard more often!

I don’t do my makeup often, but if I do, I keep it natural, with a touch to my brows, a little mascara, some concealer and bronzer, and finally lip liner with gloss!

Emotional Audits

An emotional audit is a survey of the heart. I talked about using your feminine emotion in a podcast episode, and it was quite enlightening for me. One of the best ways a feminine woman can take good care of herself, is to be in tune with her emotions instead of running away from them.

I like to do this by filling out a 3 prompt journal page, with the following questions:

  1. Right now I feel…
  2. I feel this way because…
  3. I’m working through this feeling by…

That’s it. Prayer always works wonders more than anything, though, especially in matters of the heart.

I find that getting my emotions on paper (or in my digital notebook) really helps me to think more clearly, resolves my need to complain, and keeps me from oversharing! Plus, it also gives me time and space to approach problems from a more level head, instead of in my feelings.

I recommend doing an emotional audit specifically when you’re in distress or feeling intense emotion. Sometimes we don’t quite know what we’re actually feeling until we put words to the sensation. You might find out that you actually feel a different way than you first thought.

I also love re-reading my emotional audits, because I see my growth, I see my vulnerabilities, and I see where I can use some Bread!


I don’t have a lot of hobbies. I try to keep things simple, especially since I’m on a homemaker’s budget.

One of the things I love doing, is going to the public library. My husband and I go every Sunday. It’s free, it’s perfect for introverts, and learning abounds inside. Plus, the library is always full of surprises, they have events and club meetings all the time, and our library is on a beautiful lake with a deck and some swings so we get great views.

Speaking of lakes, I also enjoy nature. I LOVE a good hike on a beaten path. It’s refreshing, calming, and the silence gives me clarity. Once again, something that is free. I don’t recommend hiking alone, though, and a lady should always carry some form of protection.

This blog and the podcast are my hobbies, too! I am a natural born writer. I could write in my sleep! Writing is not painful nor burdensome for me. In fact, I feel irate, frustrated and stuffy when I don’t manage to get some writing done!

Hobbies are essential to self care because we do need time to recharge, enjoy simple pleasures, and embrace the small things in life.

So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun.

Ecclesiastes 5:18

There was originally no work for Adam and Eve to do in the Garden of Eden, their first home. This suggests their lives, our lives, were created for pleasure, worship and creation. Although we now have work to do, our need for said pleasure and creation has not dissipated. I make it a point to spend at least 30 minutes a day doing something recreational.

And most recently, I’m heavily considering bodybuilding! Why? I think it’s hot to be ripped, especially as a woman. So, hopefully I can begin this soon and give you an update :).

Tools and Resources

My self-care routine is low maintenance, because I prefer to be instead of do— I don’t want my me-time to turn into work. For this reason, not many tools or resources are needed. Most of my hobbies are free, I can get tools at budget stores, and I can learn just about anything from Scripture or online.

But here are a few tiny luxuries I like to incorporate:

Colorful felt tip pens for journaling

The Good Notes 5 app for iPad (digital journaling)

Hot chocolate or caramel tea in the morning

Well-made journals (Barnes and Noble has great journals)

Notion (a free app) for logging my books as well as drafting blog posts

GoodReads to read reviews and share my own reviews

Pinterest, to creat mood and vision boards

Resistance bands for home workouts

Natural charcoal brickettes and incense clusters to burn during quiet-time

A curated playlist of nature sound, ocean sounds, birdsong etc to play when I write

Digestible Hemp or CBD oil (to soothe anxiety or simply ease my body)

My Personal Self-Care Goals

My personal self-care goals are very simple.

  • Get the Bread
  • Stay on my feminine square (not being controlled by my emotions in a way that makes me act masculine)
  • Maintain my body / health
  • Keep my feet looking cute
  • Take care of my skin (mainly in eliminating hyperpigmentation)
  • Destress so I can actually enjoy homemaking!

If you’d like to set your own goals for self-care, I’d start with prayer: Yah can reveal to you areas in need of attention that you may not even notice.

Then, outline your values and vision. Do you value simplicity more than results, like me? Or are you willing to go the extra mile in order to get exactly what you want? Is your husband picky or not? Do you have allergies to certain products? Are the things you enjoy free or costly? What activities help you relieve stress?

Most importantly, a feminine woman must be willing to rise while it is still night, because we know this is often the only time we have to ourselves! So make time for YOU, so you can be your absolute best when you attempt to love others.

Struggling to Care For Yourself?

The Good-Looking Wife is a gentle but sharp encouragement to Biblical wives who may’ve found themselves negligent of their self-care. From The Power of Looking Good, to Why Husbands Care, the reader walks away with the insight and renewal she needs to joyfully turn a new leaf on her feminine journey.


  1. Thanks Sister Asha,. I needed the encouragement to get myself into a self-care routine. I have been binging out on all your podcast. They are so helpful. Can’t wait for this month broadcast. Shalawama

  2. Wow! Sis Asha, this came to my inbox right on time. Since newly becoming a homemaker and going down to one income (????) I’ve been stressing over the cost of feminine upkeep. You’ve given me new insight, a new angle at how to get these things done. Todah Rabah sis ????

What are your thoughts?

Raabasha Alohalani

I’m a little Israelite woman with a little faith in a big Master. Through cultivating a relationship with The Most High Redeemer of Israel, I’ve overcome suicidal tendencies, body dysmorphia, porn addiction, depression, and the darkness of envy! As a wife and a mommy, it is my earnest desire to share love and open a space for Hebrew, Israelite, and believing women alike who want to help build this City on A Hill. Let's discover His New Mercies each day, and take baby steps towards Shemayim!????