This post is sort of a response to a question on The Secret to Being a Better Helpmeet. A sister asked how these Biblical practices, tips, principles, and wisdom can apply or how she can work them into her life and walk as an unmarried virgin. I answered her question in the comments under the post, but I want to share it with you here, too.
Hello, unmarried sister in YAHUAH! No matter how long you’ve been in this walk, how old you are, or what your “dating” past looks like, I know firsthand how uncertain life can feel as a maiden without a husband. And like most Israelite women, without a father, too. It even feels like things are even more uncertain without a husband as we try to follow Yah and give our lives to Him. The Word does say, after all, women shall be saved through childbearing (1 Timothy 2:15).
But this waiting period is one of the most essential periods of your life! It’s the time for sowing, and sowing you must do– doing so abundantly! An abundant planting will promise an abundant harvest. So while you wait on Yah and depend on Him during this time, here are six things you can do to align with His ordinances for women!
Honor
Have the UTMOST respect for your parents (and family in general). Serve them, be available for them, have mercy on them, do not despise them, pray for them, and be strong where they may fall short. Listen to them, have honor for their words, and respect their wishes for you, particularly if you still live under their roof. If you feel you are being led by Yah in a different direction than your parents (which is not uncommon in the Bible or today), then obey first and pray later. Honor and obedience are foremost as a maiden, and Yah will rectify the rest!
This will also carry into your marriage. You can’t get around Yah’s commandment for wives to honor their husbands, so it is best to begin now by honoring your parents or those you live with the best way you can.
Contribute
“Yahusha said to them, My food (nourishment) is to do the will (pleasure) of Him Who sent Me and to accomplish and completely finish His work.”
John 4:34 AMPC
Be an asset right where you are. No matter what you contribute, whether it’s music, dinner, or doing the laundry, do it with all your heart and do it like you are serving YAHUAH!
“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” Colossians 3:23.
Give your best, knowing that it is YAH on the receiving end, not humans. What would you give Him if He were before you every day?
Let your servitude to Yah be what gives you strength, courage, and comfort. Be fed by pleasing Him and sharing fellowship with Him as you offer up your body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). Let your cup continually overflow as you pour into others, and letting Yah pour into you!
Practice Silence
This is very important. Have kind words, use gentle language, and be mindful of what your body is communicating when your mouth isn’t. Such as eye rolling, or balling your hands into fists, crossing your arms, or grunting and sighing.
“Let a woman learn in quietness, in entire submissiveness.” 1 Timothy 2:11
Be open to receiving correction, and don’t despise the work of a maiden, which is to help in the home, and sometimes feel like you “don’t have your own stuff/independence”. But there is nothing wrong with being dependent. It’s a blessing to be covered, namely that provision is not our main concern. But it has responsibilities. One of those responsibilities is respect by being soft and silent, and wearing the garments of grace and humility.
“A silent and louing woman is a gift of YAHUAH, and there is nothing so much worth, as a mind well instructed.”
Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) 26:14 KJV
Let your words be few but wise. Keep your personal volume at a minimum, even in your own privacy. Invest into peace in your environment. Learn the ways of a feminine woman. Cling to YAH’s vision for women, not what the world has carved out for women. Believe Him when He says it is good for us to be silent, and know that He does not abandon us in our silence. It’s in our silence that we hear Him the most, especially during moments where we wish to open our mouths. Restraint is chastity and it’s fruitful as a maiden!
A great way to cultivate femininity is to have something to nurture, such as a plant or a pet (or even a reborn baby doll if you’re like me ????). You can even volunteer with a charitable cause such as food banks or children’s after-school programs. This will teach you about being gentle, being mindful of someone else’s needs and unselfish, and making the right sacrifices to make sure someone else is cared for (skills all Kingdom women and wives must have!).
Make Supplication
Pray about becoming a wife. Pray about learning a wife’s roles. Pray about being seen by an honorable prospect who will care for your virginity and pay his dues to YAH in order to have your hand. Pray about preparing to work as a helpmeet should. Pray about shedding the old man and becoming a new creature. Pray, pray, pray.
“Pray without ceasing.”
1 Thessalonians 5:17
Don’t ever withhold your requests from Yah. He’s the one who’s given you a heart full of desires. Place them in His hands and watch Him work. Withholding them from Him only leads to us doing things the way we think they should be done in order for us to get what we want (or even starving ourselves of good things). But we shouldn’t lean unto our own understanding.
Trust in Him with all your heart. Look for His will in EVERYTHING you do, and He will show you which paths to take (Proverbs 3:5-8). Those who depend on Him will not be disgraced (Romans 10:11).
Receive Salvation
You are already loved. No need to desire it. No man will love you more than YAHUAH your Creator.
Men aren’t YAH, men fall short, men will hurt you. It’s best to accept this now. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t desire affection or desire to give affection to a man. Men are honorable thus sayeth YAHUAH, and we are to serve them, and they are to protect us. It’s a blessing when we can be in order and harmony with our husbands. Receiving their love and reciprocating it even has the power to make us new, give us strength, and baptize us (1 Timothy 2:15, Ephesians 5:24-28).
But don’t mistake your husband for your Savior– he is not. Your Savior has already done The Thing. He’s already given you what you’re looking for. Turn to Him in your needs. Turning to man before you turn to Him will create a hole in your heart where you should be receiving His Love. Don’t idolize the idea of having a godly husband. Let Yahuah be the center of your heart–it will save your relationships! (and not just the romantic ones but all of them).
Get Wisdom
Surround yourself with wisdom.
“The aged women likewise that they be in behauiour as becommeth holinesse, not false accusers, not giuen to much wine, teachers of good things, That they may teach the young women to bee sober, to loue their husbands, to loue their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of HAYAH bee not blasphemed.”
Titus 2:3-5
You should pray about finding an aged, seasoned woman who is close to what you desire to be, for example someone who is a wife, a homemaker, a faithful servant, someone who is sober, who has self control, who is a mother, etc. (just examples, that part is up to you). Get wisdom from wise women who have experience. Never underestimate a mentor and what Yah can do when you begin to seek wisdom from the elders (or even just those who are at least 5+ years older).
She may teach you how to cook, how to sew, how to be an efficient home manager, or even how to be a good mother. Aged women in this Truth have so many skills and so much insight to offer, and if you seek Yah for an aged sister, surely He will open that door for you. He is the liberal giver of wisdom for those who seek it as they would for treasures!
“My sonne, let not them depart from thine eyes: keepe sound wisedome and discretion. So shall they bee life vnto thy soule, and grace to thy necke. Then shalt thou walke in thy way safely, & thy foot shall not.”
Proverbs 3:21-23
Above all, let your eyes remain on Yahuah. He holds the Light, and thus, He will show you the path. I know it’s sometimes difficult to be patient and remain on the narrow path while you wait for Yah, but He doesn’t fail those whose hope is in Him. Cherish your maidenhood as something sacred, offering your life to him, and water the world around you with the beauty and grace He’s given you!
I pray these tips were supplemental for you. For a deeper look into maidenhood and waiting, I recommend reading the Book of Ruth!
Share this post with an unmarried Israelite maiden!
