Covered Girl | Reflecting On My First Year in Niqab

I’m sure you’re aware of this, but I am an Israelite woman who wears the facial veil– something widely considered Islamic, despite Muslims claiming it’s culture, not their religion. And today is my one year niqab anniversary. I want to share some background, some personal reasons, pro’s and con’s, advice, and some things I love about the niqab so you can get to know the manager of this blog just a little but more ????

In February 2020 I prayed for peace, and Yah led me to cover more; I gradually worked my way into a more modest dresscode then ultimately the niqab. On February 9th, 2020 I decided it was for me. I’ve put it on, and haven’t considered not wearing it again.

I posted my first YouTube video talking about my why’s for wearing the niqab.

To summarize, I was depressed and anxious, and uncovered on social media. I would cry every night, have suicidal tendencies, and my self esteem was so shot. My husband was (and still is) very supportive of me dressing the way I wanted dress, so that’s what I did. However, I asked him repeatedly day after day what did he really think of my attire, and he simply told me to not forget that I was representing his house as his wife, and that is what sparked the desire to be more modest.

• The Pros
  • Saving myself for my husband
  • Feeling safer, thus more feminine because femininity thrives when it feels most protected
  • Peace
  • Respect from men; no catcalling, no obscene gestures, no weird messages, more held doors, more “ma’am”, less worthless conversations
  • Warmth in winter
  • No need to wear a mask for Covid– already covered
  • People aren’t distracted by your beauty, they can actually get to know you
  • Greater privacy
  • beautiful garments and colors
  • Greater sense of self-respect and esteem
  • Feelings of chastity and honoring The Most High
  • You get to connect with Muslim women who are very generous and gentle

• The Cons
  • HOT IN SUMMER
  • the veil sticks to your chapstick, lip gloss, and lip stick
  • good luck with ice cream cones
  • You’re mistaken for Muslim by Muslims, by Israelites, and even by those who hate Muslims
  • The garments are very expensive; you’re paying on average $35 per veil and about $55 per overhead garment (jilbab/khimar)– not including international shipping rates, although some are sold within the USA. I currently have three veils and two overhead garments.
  • You realize how entitled people are to your body, as if they prefer you to be a whore instead as they constantly insist upon seeing your face and body
  • Sometimes eating is messy
  • You sometimes want to prove that you’re normal to worldly people who otherwise think you’re super religious, and it sucks.
  • People expect you to be perfect, pure, blameless, and holy all the time
  • You can’t talk or act the way you used to, which is a good thing. You just feel abnormal when you’re so modest on the outside yet your speech, mannerism, or habits remain the same. The veil is a barrier between the wearer and the world
  • It’s a new way of life so everything will have to be done differently; eating, hygiene, the way you wear layers, makeup (since it dirties the veil), etc.

• My Bad Experiences
  • jokingly being told I look like a terrorist
  • someone saying I should go back to where I came from when they’re the colonizing invaders and I’m standing on the land of my very own ancestors
  • Family and friends will make jokes at my expense, comparing me to scary things like ninjas or ghouls or shadows
• My Good Experiences
  • advising other sisters who want to wear the niqab
  • Seeing other Israelite sisters begin their niqab journey which has happened three times
  • being pissed off by someone, but because I was veiled, I remained in The House of YHWH and didn’t react how I normally would have
  • Men on plenty occasion who want to ask me questions, will instead ask other people that I’m with as opposed to speaking directly to me
  • Restaurants have been very accommodating
  • I just generally feel more set apart, holy, consecrated, and separated from the world, the women of the world, the lustful eyes of the world, and the things of the world

• What I wish I had known
  • the garments are expensive
  • people would perceive me as the holier than thou type
  • people would be way more gentle and considerate
  • my daughter would be just fine with it
  • I would have more good experiences than bad
  • It’s okay to wear colors

• My advice to those who want to wear the niqab
  • ask yourself why and investigate why; truly meditate on it, and figure out what your attraction is. It’s good to have a strong why, because this will be the thing which motivates you when it starts to get hard
  • pray about it; pray about wearing it, not wearing it, motivations, revelations regarding the veil, what would please The Father, how to go about it, where to get a veil, what kind of veil– pray about everything in this. You need His guidance
  • Make sure this is something your husband approves of first. Don’t make this decision without him, and don’t be discouraged if he says no
  • try it on at a few places first before you decide you’ll do it 24/7; ease your way into it; start with the gas station one day, then the drive-thru the next day, then the grocery store after that… until you’re confident enough to wear it all the time
  • don’t be ashamed to buy used veils, to make your own, or to simply use a scarf to cover your face. It’s not about the covering but about being covered
  • people stare, that’s not going to change
  • grow thick skin, because people will make jokes
  • get used to being treated more like a lady
  • you don’t have to wear the gloves 😉
  • you will still be able to work out, enjoy sports, and find a job
  • you can still find a husband while covered, because there are millions of men looking for modest wives, even in the Israelite community
  • you’re not invisible. We can see you. You’re standing right there. You just have control over what others are allowed to see, and there’s nothing wrong with that
  • You’ll actually become more gentle, find yourself, and begin to love yourself for who you are instead of who you’re trying to be to please others
• Don’t wear niqab if
  • you just like the look; seriously, the novice will wear off and if you only did it for the appearance, it’ll become vanity, which defeats the purpose
  • you’re doing it to impress someone / followers
  • it’s just a trendy season of your wardrobe

• My all time favorite things about Niqab
  • I feel safe
  • I’m modest
  • It has me in continual remembrance of YHWH when I wear it
  • I preserve my beauty for my husband
  • I control what people do and do not get to see
  • I’m set apart from the average woman
  • the garments are extremely beautiful
  • I’m constantly asked questions by people, which means I get to explore religion, politics, traditions, and humanity– my favorite things to discuss

Overall, my first year was better than I thought it would be, and I plan to do this for as long as YHWH will permit me to do so. I’ve gotten much closer to Him, much further from the ways of the world, and have gained an overall greater understanding of my faith and role as a covered Israelite woman. This doesn’t mean the niqab is the reason for that, since no matter what, nothing I can do will help or hinder His hand. He has all control. But I’ve learned that the veil is a partition between me and the world, and behind it is just me and my Savior. I’m not perfect by any means, and I’m still growing, may He have mercy on me.