3 Reasons You Don’t Take Accountability for Your Home

Have you ever turned away from a mess in your home, convinced that because you didn’t create it, you don’t have to be the one to fix it?

Whether it be the money, the domestic maintenance, or the spiritual matters, we as women in this modern world struggle with the self-sacrifice required to be the keepers of our homes.

I know I often do.

My husband doesn’t often directly ask me to do anything, so all of the homemaking I do is of my own volition or the conviction of the Holy Spirit. He tends to be very easygoing, and his priorities for me mostly lie in my being available, instead of being overly concerned with the aesthetics of our home.

This means that most days (99%), I’m answering directly to Yah for the order of my home, not my husband. Or, if I haven’t been in the Word, it means I’m left to my own devices.

And I will be the first to admit that when I have the choice, my home is not always my first priority.

I love this blog, I love video games, I love graphic novels, I love talking to sisters. And I REALLY love sleeping in (this is probably my weakest area). However, I notice that on these days wherein I indulge myself in these loves of mine, I fail to take accountability for my home.

When my husband’s clothes go unfolded, dishes unwashed, and dinner uncooked, I have an excuse. I was tired, I was in the middle of a good book, I had an order to fulfill for a client… In my mind they’re legitimate, but according to the Word and Yahuah’s ordinance for married women, nothing should come before our homes.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of YHWH be not blasphemed.”

Titus 2:3-5

When we carefully examine the life of the Proverbial Wife (Proverbs 31), she does have income as a result of the work of her own hands. She does rise before the sun. She does make sure everyone is fed. She does invest and make profitable returns. She sets a perfect example of a woman who takes accountability for her home.

There is no idleness to be found in her, not even when she rests.

So why do we as modern women often struggle to be accountable for our homes?

Excuses

Some of us do have side jobs or full-time work. That doesn’t make you any less of a homemaker. Some of us have intense or wholly involving hobbies like competitive sports or even ministries at our congregations (or online). And some of us simply have a lot of children that require constant attention.

None of these are awful excuses. They are legitimate reasons even. Life happens. But when we let our children, our role at ‘church’, or our hobbies get in the way of our care for our homes, they become scapegoats of neglect for us as wives.

When we use these as answers if asked why our home is out of order, they are no longer real life things we deal with. They instead become bandages we place over a continually bleeding wound: we are the ones held accountable for our homes and are not taking accountability.

Resentment

Another reason I believe we struggle with taking accountability for our homes is resentment.

Maybe you resent the size of your home (maybe it’s really big for one person to manage, or you’re frustrated that it may be too small for your family). Perhaps you have a degree and desire a career, and you don’t feel a sense of accomplishment in life. Or like me, you sometimes feel ashamed to be “just a housewife” and you’re often envious of women who appear to be happier living a different way.

Any form of resentment is enough to suck the motivation out of homemaking. If we view our homes as burdens, there won’t be much of an incentive to care for it.

When you’d rather be someone else, somewhere else, doing something else, your heart will lead your hands in the opposite direction of your calling in Biblical Womanhood. And this modern society of feminism, female independence, and 50% divorce rates cashes in when you as a woman resent the calling of Biblical Womanhood on your life.

Lack of Foresight

The last reason I think we struggle taking accountability for our homes, is because we don’t have foresight.

Foresight means being able to see how what’s happening now WILL impact the future.

Accountability means playing an active role in this impact.

If we could see how being faithful to the domestic chores and service of our family could bring us grace, faith and salvation, we wouldn’t do those things begrudgingly. If only we had the foresight to see how fulfilling this obligation unto our Lord YAHUAH would bring us into holiness, perhaps the resentment, excuses, and vain desire to be elsewhere would dissipate.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.”

1 Timothy 2:15

The very thing we as women have been running from since the beginning of time, is where the Word says we will find salvation: in childbearing (and historically and naturally, bearing children means being home to care for them).

And I’m no natalist. Just because a woman doesn’t or can’t have children, doesn’t say anything about her worth, purpose or impact. Motherhood isn’t everything. What’s most important is being willing to be used by Yah in the little things just as much as we are excited for the big things.

We don’t see the reward in the now. Sometimes we’re not even thanked for our endless hours of service and sacrifice. But this is where foresight comes in handy. It’s truly knowing, trusting and believing that YAHUAH is not a man that He should lie, and He is faithful to His Word, making it come to pass.

He is a rewarder of works, both good and evil, and if He says being keepers at home is a good thing, surely there is a GOOD reward!

So how can we get through this?

1. Stay in the Word DAILY
2. Praying without ceasing
3. Know you will be rewarded– either with dust for your excuses or gold for your diligence
4. Be grateful for what you have and where you are
5. Have mercy on yourself, your home, and your family
6. Ask for help when you need it
7. Seek wise aged women who’s lives reflect those of women in the Bible

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