I never expected homemaking to be so exerting, time consuming, or requiring of so much creativity! I was a gullible (and albeit lazy) young woman when I’d met Mr. Driver, sick of the workforce, honestly thinking homemaking would be the easy way out of hard work. After all, all I’d heard about homemakers was from those who HATED stay-at-home-moms: that they’re lazy, they got it easy, all they do is sit at home.


I’ve been in corporate, I’ve been in fast food, I’ve been in childcare, I’ve been in maintenance. Truly, nothing could have prepared me to be a homemaker! One thing all other jobs have in common, whether it’s wall street banking or Section 8 plumbing: you get to clock out after your shift!

With homemaking? This isn’t so. We clock out only once we fall asleep, and even for us mothers, we have our sleep interrupted continuously!

Nothing could have prepared me for the envy of my husband’s work since it means he gets both a paycheck and a few hours away from home a day. Or for the nonstop laundry. Or for the insanity-inducing repetition of a mundane life of cooking, cleaning, and organizing!

That being said, I’d also like to point out, that nothing could have prepared me for the endless cuddles and hugs (since I’m always around to give and receive them). Or the intimate family dinners that I never miss. Or the chance to nurture any sniffles or coughs or booboos. Or (and this is my favorite) being able to up and travel with my husband when he gets to travel for work!

Homemaking can be a dark place, especially when you let the enemy trap you into believing that diapers, dishes and dusting are your worth, glory and purpose. The WORD says YAHUSHA, Salvation, Mercy, the Heritage of the Righteous and being made in the Image of YAHUAH is our glory. So while homemaking is part of the assignment for women and wives, we need to remember that this neither negates nor enhances our value. Our value is FIXED in The Promises of YAH, not in the work of our own hands.

Where do you find your worth?

I’ll tell you this: if you find your worth in the tasks you complete (and sometimes fail to complete) as a homemaker, you’re going down a dangerous path. When we base our regard or honor for ourselves and YAH’s appointment for our lives on something as temporal as this lifetime, we are cheating ourselves of peace, stability, and joy.

I wrote the title for this post before I even began typing this out. And I’ll have to admit, I was really planning to share a housekeeping tip related to cleaning or organization… but as my fingers moved across the keyboard, I’ve realized YAH had other plans for this post. Perhaps this is His way of speaking to me, too, as I try to speak to you.

I’ve struggled with trying to find my worth in other people, in my career, in being a mother, in being a wife, in being a homemaker, in being a blogger, in being a podcaster, in being a commandment keeper, even.

And when I look to these things or roles for fulfillment, no matter how ‘righteous’ they are, they always fall short. Nothing truly ever fulfills me like YAHUAH. I can have the perfect bathroom, and feel like an invincible woman. But if my worth is based on my homemaking, what happens when my bathroom isn’t so spotless? I feel awful, like a failure, like a waste of space, and a poor excuse for a homemaker.

This can be said with any other things we tend to look to for fulfillment. If I find fulfillment in blogging well, but no one ever reads my posts or engages with them, then what? If I find fulfillment in being a wife, but my husband doesn’t have sex with me or we don’t spend time together, then what? If I find fulfillment in being a mother, but I can’t figure out why my baby won’t stop crying, or my children move out and I have an empty nest, then what?

When I hit the ‘then what’s’, you know what I do? I feel the void. I am suddenly aware of any empty space that’d never been occupied in the first place because these temporal things aren’t big enough for the home YAH has made for himself in my heart. I feel lost and insecure and completely ashamed, because who am I to be imperfect?

These are the dangers of depending on this world. Homemaking, motherhood, and wifedom are all very lovely aspects of your life that may bring you pleasure, joy and motivation in life, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But when they become the foundation of our faith, the center of our universe, the nametags about which we boast, then we have simply missed the point.

Life isn’t just about servitude. Life is about glorifying YAHUAH, and servitude is just a part of this.

I believe we as Israelite women in particular have the bad habit of basing our worth on how much pain we can tolerate, how much sacrifice we can make, and how willing we are to be used by others. These are all part of a life of following YAH if I’m keeping it real. But I don’t just want to keep it real with you, I want to keep it holy.

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

Keeping it holy in this moment means being the one to tell you that the secret to enhancing your home is not to put it or your role in it on a pedestal, or break your back trying to keep it there.

The secret homemaking habit that has enhanced my home (and that I KNOW will enhance yours), is keeping YAH at the center, forefront, and foundation of my life. Finding my worth in being a daughter of YAH. Recognizing that my successes don’t define me, because by that same measure, my lack of successes would define me, too.

Funny story, that just happened amid writing this post. I spared 15 minutes to load the dishwasher, and as I was taking dirty dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, I was mortified at the sink. It was filthy. Peanut butter, hair, and noodles. Gross. I said to myself, “This is awful and disgusting! Good thing my worth isn’t based on how well I keep this clean because MY GOD!”

LOL!!!! And you know what? It was soooo liberating! What’s one part of your life you’re glad doesn’t define your worth? ????????????


  1. LOL! I don’t know where we got this idea that homemaking would be easy but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Great post.

  2. Awesome post sis!! I too was wrong about homemaking, it is NOT for the faint of heart. I didn’t work this hard at my 9 to 5 LOL. I am so glad my worth isn’t determined by how good of a homemaker I am or I would be in trouble. I’m currently 8 months pregnant, and potty training a 2 1/2 year old which makes things even more challenging. She does try to help me the best she can at her age, Todah YAH for that! This post gave me a newfound confidence and perspective that YAH should be at the center of my life, everything else is temporary. Like sister Alianna said we do need to give ourselves some grace. Some days I can’t get it all done, I need to be ok with that. Todah Rabah for this post sis. Shalom!

  3. I love love love this blog and the podcasts! This was so timely for me… currently pregnant and I feel like I’m failing at being a wife and a homemaker and I’m fighting back thoughts of also failing at being a mom. But MY GOD! My Abba nawa looks at me differently and is loving and gracious and merciful …. We need to give ourselves grace! We need to make sure our foundation in Christ is SOLID! So nothing of and in this world can shake us up…. Wow I loved this. Thawadah sis

    1. HALLELUYAH! Glory to Abbanawa! Thank you so much! You are absolutely right; in HaMashayach we are unshakeable. I’ve been trying to have more Grace with myself lately and I appreciate your reminder ???? congrats on motherhood! 1 Tim 2:15 ???????????? “But women will be saved through childbearing, assuming they continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty.”

What are your thoughts?

Raabasha Alohalani

I’m a little Israelite woman with a little faith in a big Master. Through cultivating a relationship with The Most High Redeemer of Israel, I’ve overcome suicidal tendencies, body dysmorphia, porn addiction, depression, and the darkness of envy! As a wife and a mommy, it is my earnest desire to share love and open a space for Hebrew, Israelite, and believing women alike who want to help build this City on A Hill. Let's discover His New Mercies each day, and take baby steps towards Shemayim!????