Shalom Hebrews, Israelites, and believing women alike!

This weeks segment on Israelite Marriage is all about the true impact your self care has on your husband. We’re going to be covering:

  • Why self care is the root of being a good wife
  • Signs you need self care
  • Does your husband really care about your physical beauty?
  • The benefits of watered womanhood
  • A few self care pleasures and tips

When you neglect yourself, you ultimately neglect your marriage.

The Hebrew Housewife

Your husband hungers for you. He wants to, anyway. Men are naturally inclined towards women’s beauty, and yours is supposed to be his alone, in The Most High’s will.

Self care is the root of being a good wife. Why? Because it’s when you take the time to feed yourself the good spiritual nutrients you need in order to bloom and blossom. It helps to think of yourself as a beautiful, colorful garden that feeds the environment around you– what Biblical womanhood is all about.

What does a garden need to be fruitful? For starters, you need the Water of Life. Let all your quiet time, me-time, down time, and personal play be founded on YAHUAH’s Word and He will not lead you astray.

Some signs your garden needs some watering:

  • You are argumentative
  • You are always on the defense
  • You are restless
  • You are insecure
  • You feel your husband isn’t attracted to you
  • You are clingy/emotionally distraught without your husband
  • You dread being alone, even for an hour
  • You are anxious or depressed
  • You can’t have fun
  • You are bitter about life
  • You are constantly complaining

This list is inconclusive ;). There are many telltale signs that you need to turn to YAH and get some Water, but these come to mind first because they are arguably the ones that are the most destructive to your marriage. And if you are a Biblical woman, then you know your marriage is your number one priority.

Does my husband really care about my physical beauty?

The simple answer: of course.

The more complex answer: yes, but not in the way you think.

Your husband wants the best wife on the planet, just like you want to know you have the best husband. You surely don’t want the worst, right?

Does that mean you have to be a supermodel, or the most curvalicious woman on the face of YAHUAH’s green earth? Certainly not!

It means he wants to see effort. He doesn’t care for perfection, just as you don’t, either. You want effort. Your husband wants to know that he is worth the effort. That you want to impress him, seduce him, please him, and most importantly, honor him with your appearance.

And not just physically.

Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your ‘physical beauty’ starts within. For most, glowing skin and flat tummies just don’t come naturally. It’s easy to get caught up over the years with the kids, keeping up with the home, and even work– to the point we neglect our own bodies.

True beauty doesn’t require bedazzling and elaborate accessories. It doesn’t require tummy tucks and liposuction. It doesn’t require makeup and form-fitting dresses. True beauty comes from YAHUAH, and we have to go to the direct source.

Related: 12 Silent Ways to Blow Your Husband’s Mind

If you are sloppy with your appearance, don’t care for your skin, or your feet are rough, your husband likely notices. He’s probably not thinking, “My wife is ugly, fat, and careless about how she represents me.”

No, most husbands think, “Does she still love herself? How can I tell her nicely that I’d like to see this change? I hope she takes the time to care for herself.”

You are your husband’s trophy. The scripture says a good wife is a good portion, and is awarded to him who fears YAHUAH.

House and wealth are the inheritance from fathers,
But a wise, understanding, and sensible wife is [a gift and blessing] from the Lord.

Psalm 19:14

Are you a portion from YAH to your husband? Do you show it? Do you water yourself? Do you care to please your earthly master, your husband, with your whole being?

He invests a lot into you, whether you see it or not. He doesn’t just want a wife who’ll cut the grass, or a wife whose a good mother. He wants a feminine woman to come home to– one who takes the time to love herself. You simply cannot water others from an empty cup.

The benefits of Watered Womanhood

The first benefit and the one which sets the precedent for the rest, is that you won’t be too tired to play with your husband. This is the most important thing you can do as a wife outside of being a prayer warrior. Your husband can’t play with his friends, his kids, or even his siblings the way he desires to play with his wife.

You must stay soft towards him. It doesn’t matter what the world throws at you. How the kids act, what your mother-in-law said, or even the mistakes your husband may make. Your job as a wife is to be available to your husband as a helpmeet in all things, be a companion, and be that one area of his life where he is guaranteed respect, love, adoration, and rest.

A wife can only maintain this type of forgiveness, softness, kindness and beauty in herself when she leaves her marriage at The Altar and invests her energy into love instead of bitterness.

New in Israelite Marriage

Coming Soon 😉

And generally, being watered means you won’t be too exhausted for any of the other many duties you may have. The difference between a flawless execution and burning yourself out as a wife, is how well you are watered.

Another great benefit of Watered Womanhood, is care for your temple. Your body is a gift from YAH, given to your soul through His Spirit for Good Works. To have the energy, will, and finesse to juggle your responsibilities without feeling worn out, you MUST feed your temple the right foods.

Again, it’s ideal to think of yourself as a garden. If you want fruit, add Water. If you want thorns, neglect to water your garden with the Water of Life.

A final great benefit of Watered Womanhood, is that you truly make your house shine.

As the sun when it riseth to the world in the high places of God, so is the beauty of a good wife for the ornament of her house.

Sirach (Ecclesiasticus) 26:21

The BEAUTY of a good wife is like the sun when it rises.

You are the support beam. When all else gets weak, the house can stand if the support beams are standing on The Rock. A Watered Woman’s home is together because she prioritizes self love just as much as she prioritizes cooking, cleaning, and all her other duties.

Self Care Pleasures and Tips

HINT: The best self care is quiet time with YAH. He can soften you, comfort you, keep you company, make you laugh, ease your pain, answer your questions, and he’s willing to move mountains for you if only you would ask.

More ideas may include:

  • trying a new recipe
  • visit a spa
  • make a craft (homemade soap, jewelry, scrapbook etc)
  • fill a coloring book
  • visit your local animal shelter or shop, and play with the puppies (:
  • attend a local athletic event (middle school sporting games are typically free)
  • watch some CLEAN stand-up comedy
  • visit the playground and swing (my personal fave!!!)
  • lay in the grass and sunbathe/watch the stars at night (ANOTHER MAJOR FAVE!!!)

What is your biggest distraction from caring for yourself?

Always remember, you simply cannot water others from an empty cup. Yah gives liberally to all men (and women) who seek Him.

Happy Wifedom, tribe! Shloma 🙂

P.S. I hope you had a great Feast of Trumpets <3


  1. I was led here to read this tonight sis. Beautifully articulated as always! Such an inspiration to us all! All praises to TMH!!!!!! ????

  2. I believe I was led by Yah here! I have been preparing for marriage in obedience and I’m so glad I came across this blog!

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Raabasha Alohalani

I’m a little Israelite woman with a little faith in a big Master. Through cultivating a relationship with The Most High Redeemer of Israel, I’ve overcome suicidal tendencies, body dysmorphia, porn addiction, depression, and the darkness of envy! As a wife and a mommy, it is my earnest desire to share love and open a space for Hebrew, Israelite, and believing women alike who want to help build this City on A Hill. Let's discover His New Mercies each day, and take baby steps towards Shemayim!????