“When are you going to get a job?” “Don’t you want your own money?” “You depend on a man? Tuh!” “You don’t do anything/Haven’t accomplished anything in life.” “You just stay home all day!”

The list can go on. I know, if you’re a housewife, you’ve likely heard these, too– from fellow women mostly! Which should be shocking, but it’s not.

At least once a week I get hit with some degrading insult about how all I am (more or less) is a tool for a man. You know, I can’t say I have a problem with that if it’s true. But I do have a problem with people continually saying it as if I’m supposed to be ashamed.

And sometimes I do become ashamed. Those types of insults begin to harden over time if we don’t cast them upon YAHUAH as soon as they hit.

Homemaking is valuable, important, and necessary. It is blessed and beloved. It is cherished and honorable in the eyes of Abbanawa. We shouldn’t be ashamed for not having accomplished anything outside of our beautiful and anointed homes, as if we must desire something more. I desire nothing more than to cultivate a peaceful and loving home for my family to dwell, rest, and worship in, and that is MORE THAN ENOUGH.

For me, it usually comes from family. There isn’t a single stay-at-home-mom or housewife in my immediate family, and they are all perplexed at the idea that I’m not in the workforce. They are continually projecting their insecurities on me regarding needing my own income, fears about my husband leaving me, and not being independent enough– because after all, men aren’t perfect.

They speak to me as if I’m below them, like I’m worthless, and I’m wasting my life away when I could instead be chasing after a six figure salary and a corner office. I get it: I don’t have my own car or house; I don’t have my own money; and if anything were to happen to my husband– YES I’d be with family or a friend. So how can I be so satisfied and content?

Because I don’t truly depend on my husband (who I know is imperfect). I depend on YAH to use my husband, and there is a difference.

No one hates a housewife or SAHM (stay at home mom) more than a woman who loves her career, having her own money, and not having to be a domestic caretaker.

My grandma is one of them. I love her, but she is 60 something and refuses to stay home. She has no children in her nest, her husband owns their home, he provides enough for her to live comfortably, and while they’re not rich, she can afford to truly relax if she wanted to. More importantly, YAHUAH loves her and takes care of them every day. She doesn’t have any worries.

But she insists on having ‘her own money’ for personal reasons. There’s nothing wrong with this if a husband is pleased with a wife who wants to contribute. However, my grandfather doesn’t require her to contribute, and a wife’s desire to have her own should NEVER take away from the attention she gives to her home.

She’s the main woman in my life who is constantly degrading me for my choice to be a housewife, and my grandpa hears her no less. One day, I rode with him to the grocery store to assist him with shopping, and our conversation went (something) like this.

“Can I ask you something?” I broke the silence as we rode in his truck.

“Sure,” he enthusiastically invited the conversation.

“Do you think it would be better for me to get a job and work?” I asked.

“Where is this coming from?” He inquired.

I sighed, “Well, I don’t know. I feel like a lot of my family would rather me work and provide for myself, and maybe they would respect me a lot more if I did–“

“You can’t focus on everyone else’s opinion,” he swiftly interrupted, “When you try to live up to everyone else’s expectations, you miss out on the life that has been outlined for you. Especially with your [marriage]: if you started out doing one thing, that’s what’s expected of you and you ought to continue that so you don’t mess up what you have.”

And it made sense. He didn’t really say anything that I haven’t heard from my own husband or even from fellow housewives/SAHMs. But it was refreshing to hear it from family nonetheless, and it was confirmation that I don’t have to conform to this world (Romans 12:2).

It’s the truth– I can’t try to live up to everyone’s expectations. If I were a career woman, people would criticize me for not being there for my family. I would be overworked, underpaid, and still expected to come home and cook and clean even after working a 40+ hour work week. And people would still have something to say.

Plus, my husband takes care of me as much as Yah empowers him to. I shouldn’t stop taking care of him as much as Yah blesses me to and instead go work for someone else, just because people disapprove of my calling to my home first. I truly desire being present for my husband. It brings my heart joy. I believe more women would feel true liberation if only they would fall into YAHUAH’s order for woman.

Homemaking is for every woman who still has the power and sound mind to do so.

We can argue that it “isn’t for everyone”, but is this Biblical? No.

Women were created as YAHUAH’s gift to man, that man wouldn’t be alone, and that he would have a helper.

Sometimes, this manifests in different ways for different women. And if you’re a woman who isn’t a traditional SAHM or housewife and you enjoy it, then you are blessed.

But so are housewives. We are blessed, too.

How has everyone become so convinced that we are cursed? Where does this image of oppressed housewife come from? Why are we so hated?

Do we appear weak and helpless? Do we defy the plight of feminism, to get every single girl and woman into the workforce? Is it because we don’t have to slave at a job we hate?

Are we hated because we aren’t independent?

Sure, many SAHMs occasionally get overwhelmed, but it doesn’t compare to the darkness experienced by women whose lives are dominated by ‘work’ with little time left for self, family, or faith. I can speak as a woman who used to be one of them. I utterly HATED being in the workforce, especially as an Israelite woman who is constantly facing discrimination, harassment, hazing, and exclusivity in the modern workplace.

Becoming a housewife has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.

The whole underappreciated and overworked stay-at-home-mom stereotype is such a played out narrative– women who stay home and nurture their homes for a living are the most rested women on the planet. I have time for family. I have time for self. I have time for faith. I have quietude, rest, and room to breathe and invest in my own passions and talents. My life isn’t dominated by a corporation who doesn’t give a darn about me. And most of all, I’m living in The Most High’s will for me as a wife and mommy, and again, it brings my soul great pleasure to be present for my family.

Putting my home first waters me.

The Truth

Many career-driven and/or willingly independent women are secretly covetous of housewives and stay at home moms. The truth is that they want to stay home and escape hustle culture, but they don’t trust The Most High to provide, or their husband’s ability to look to Yah for provision.

They love focusing on work and career until they get pregnant, and then they realize just how little these ‘jobs’ care about them. They believe in career being number one until they haven’t had a break in ages, and are too tired at the end of the day to make love, too tired to enjoy their children, and too tired to water themselves with things that bring them pleasure. They feel a woman is better off being independent until she begins to complain that she’s exhausted, does everything on her own, and never gets any help.

How do I deal with this?

I see their unsolicited opinion on voluntary stay-home-wives as an outcry, and use it as a moment to fellowship, speak the Word of Yah, and prophesy about His Plan to make us His Bride according to Rev 21, Hosea 2, and Isaiah 54 (and many MANY other verses).

See those women in need. They are likely fatigued and miserable, and it is the perfect opportunity to be a servant for them. Tell them you actually enjoy your family and taking care of them. Recite Genesis 2:18. Ask them why they care so much, and listen, don’t respond; let them hear themselves tell the truth for once: they are confused about how you don’t fear the vulnerabilities of being dependent– they want your certainty even when nothing is certain.

Sometimes, I do like to remain silent when they begin criticizing me, because no matter how many Scriptures I present, for some people, it just isn’t enough to justify a woman ‘not doing anything’. During those moments I pray for Yah to give me strength and not let me be discouraged by their disapproval. I listen, lower my head, and have war flashbacks of being in the workplace and how tired and anxious I would be after every work day.

And on (very) rare occasions, I ask them, “Wouldn’t you like to do nothing, if if you had that choice?” It usually confounds them, because the answer is always yes. Sometimes they’ll scramble to say something like, “Well I believe a woman should pursue whatever she wants! If you want something in this world, you gotta get off your [behind] and get it! Can’t no man do nothing for me! Women don’t have to waste their lives on a man. Men can cook and clean for themselves. Why would I want to do that all day everyday?” And then it takes a downward spiral into how men cheat, can get laid off, and are sometimes abusive…the usual deflecting.


Looking For The Living Among The Dead | Cleaving to Your Husband Without Idolizing Him

These sisters only despise housewives because they feel they don’t have that choice, even if they wanted to. And if they did have that choice, they wouldn’t accept it until it was their last resort (which is fine– better late than never).

I remind them that feminism is supposedly about giving women a choice, and that just because a woman’s choice is different from yours or is more traditional, it doesn’t make it any less meaningful or satisfactory for her. In fact, it’s even more meaningful because it is The Most High’s ordinance for woman to lay down her life for her husband and her home. It is honorable to do so according to our Creator.

I can plead with them all day, try to reason, share Scriptures, share my trials of being in the workplace, and even share the depressing statistics of modern women trapped in hustle culture. But ultimately, we can’t stop people from sharing their hatred of housewives. We can’t ban people from speaking on our lives. We can’t bind their tongues against discussing what truly is none of their business. It may be rough, but when we begin to see these as opportunities to prophesy instead of moments of persecution, we’ll see Yah open doors in our lives and in the lives of others, too.

Overall, the best practice is to keep turning to Yah. If our foremothers cared at all about what the women of Babylon thought about them serving their husbands, then many of us wouldn’t even be here.

Be fruitful, multiply, fear Yah, seek Shemayim, repent, turn away from the flesh, love and obey your husband, raise up righteous worshippers of Yah, and take pleasure in being a handmaid called by His Name.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal;  but store up for yourselves treasures in Shemayim (Heaven), where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal.

Matthew 6:19-20


  1. APTTMH for this post. I throughouly enjoyed reading this perspective even though I’m currently a working wife I appreciate housewives so much. What’s unfortunate this day in time is the beef and shade I constantly see between housewives and work wives that shouldn’t be happening. Knowing how tough both roles can be we should be banning together more than ever to offer resources and support to each other and not tear each other down. Offering to teach our working moms children or help somewhere that they can’t due to work and working moms buying resources to help housewives (idk but something that is fruitful to both)? I appreciate you sharing your experience because no one should be made to feel this way. I too experienced a lot of unwanted comments with my role as a work wife. I’m a preschool teacher, wife ,and mother of two. To Abba be the kavod that I’ve been able to maintain a healthy balance. My husband has a health condition that he’s battled with for about 13 years and in turn a few of our roles reversed. I had family/peers share sligh comments in past about me working and being drained but I actually enjoyed what I was doing. I had drained moments but all that changed when we entered truth, I dove more into Abba’s word, submitted to my husband and started keeping Sabbath. See my husband never let his condition hold him back from being all that Abba created him to be. His heart and stewardship has opened doors only Abba could. He’s been able to protect and provide beyond what his condition presumed he could. Over the last 5 years he’s been able to work more than in the past, APTTMH????????. My city is in a drought for good educators and I serve an urban community so my heart has not been set on leaving because I believe Abba placed this on my heart as a service to help my community. I keep it all in prayer constantly and my husband often reminds me of the book of Daniel working in the beast system but not waivering on our beliefs. I know when Abba says move I will do so but my Rauch has not lead me to do that yet. I often think about my children and what I’m missing but we honestly have developed a healthy balance with meeting their needs and raising them in the way they should go even though I’m in the work force still. My prayer is that I continue to lead a life pleasing to my Abba and I know when the time comes for me to leave the work world It’ll be in his perfect timing. To Abba be the kavod ????????????????thanks for your posts they’ve been very edifying ????

  2. A great read! ????✨????✨ all praises to TMH for your creativity! I’ve recently become a newlywed & a housewife (mostly), I am a music teacher & have a job in my husbands’ city. He’s fine with it, encourages it even, as long as I’m able to still give my best to our home. Actually, I was sharing with him that my teacher schedule is perfect because I’ll work in the mornings, get off around 3/3:30, and still have time to come home, relax, get house in order, cook dinner, and great him in the evenings. I’ll be tired some night sure, but I knew I didn’t want a job with hrs that took me away from house responsibility. It’s very interesting, seeing this war on housewifery….. I agree with you, that most of the time these women are really just jealous that they’re NOT being picked to be a housewife, or that they’ve fallen to the corporate trap. It’s sad all around, the 9-5 work schedule/career chasing was LITERALLY never built for a women’s hormone level, but around a man’s testosterone level. So much evil has been fed to us smh

    1. Shalom, thank you for reading! All glory be to the Almighty! You’re right, a 7 day work schedules is built on men’s hormonal cycle, whereas our work cycle performs best on a 28 day cycle, providing room for a week of rest. It’s wonderful to hear that you’re enjoying both homemaking and working with your hands, especially since your husband enjoys it also. I appreciate you for sharing and look forward to more of your thoughts, Autumn!

  3. I really love this right here. The only woman I know who was ever a stay at home mom was my mom, and I’ve seen how her non-wife material sister would say that same stuff to her, telling her she needed to be more independent, and how serving a man is ridiculous. I’m thankful to have had someone as close as my mother to be that example.

    1. HalleluYAH for homemakers, especially when they’re the ones who’re nurturing us every day! What a blessing indeed. It always appear to be the unqualified who hate or despise homemaking and housewifery the most, unfortunately. The greater alternative for us is to become bitter, stressed, and overworked like them. NO WAY. Thanks for sharing, Prominence 🙂

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Raabasha Alohalani

I’m a little Israelite woman with a little faith in a big Master. Through cultivating a relationship with The Most High Redeemer of Israel, I’ve overcome suicidal tendencies, body dysmorphia, porn addiction, depression, and the darkness of envy! As a wife and a mommy, it is my earnest desire to share love and open a space for Hebrew, Israelite, and believing women alike who want to help build this City on A Hill. Let's discover His New Mercies each day, and take baby steps towards Shemayim!????